Saturday, May 22, 2010

It's not a hoot.

As I'm sitting here writing this, the man is snoring in the recliner. Did I mention that it's 11:00 pm on a Saturday night? And that he's been sleeping for an hour? Ummm, yeah.

He works nights. I work days. It sucks.

For the seven plus years that we have been together, this has been our schedule other than a few odd months here and there. Occasionally the powers that be would change his work shifts, but the majority of our time has been spent...apart.

From Sunday nights until Friday mornings, we spend the days with brief phone calls during lunch breaks and with notes and reminders left on the dining room table. Again, sucks.

Yes, we have a three day weekend together every week. (Neither of us works on Friday unless something important comes up at work.) But some days I'm not sure it's worth it.

We only eat dinner together as a family once or twice a week. Bette and the Blonde are at their father's house every other weekend, so the chances of us all four sitting down together for dinner as about the same as the odds of my mother not saying something to make me feel guilty every damned time she calls. It's rare, I say.

Friday mornings he sleeps. Sunday nights he stays up until 5 am, while I sleep. Sometimes I hear him snore way more than I hear him talk. I'm much more likely to see him wrapped in sheets than clothed.

I hate being home at night without him. I hate sleeping in the big bed by myself. I hate not having someone to say Goodnight to. (Yes, I say goodnight to the chirren, but they just roll their eyes at me and sulk away to tell their friends how lame I am.)

Most people don't get the hassle that is working a "different" schedule. Hell, his mother still doesn't get it. She still calls at 9AM on Friday morning. I rush to the phone, trip over the dog, knock the phone to the floor trying to keep it from ringing again, just to hear her say, "I didn't want to bother you, but...".

I joke to my friend that the secret of our longevity is all our time apart, but the truth is I wish it wasn't so. His job pays well and the benefits are nothing to sneeze at, so there will be no changing jobs. It will continue to be 12 hour shifts with a ninety minute commute each way. I will continue to adjust and try to be thankful for my flexible schedule that allows me to be home on Fridays with him.

And maybe...just maybe, when the kids are grown and gone, I can be a night owl too.


pattypunker said...

that's rough girlfriend. well happy fridays!

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